Crea Land

Toni Shepherd was a very dear friend of mine. She was of Māori (Ngāi Tahu) and Burmese descent.

We met 30 years ago during our AIT psychotherapy training, and supported each other through the challenges and healings of that amazing 3-year course. We also worked voluntarily at Youthline, both separately and together. Toni was instrumental in the organising of Youthline’s first Noho Marae at Te Puea marae in Māngere Bridge. She also began working for Auckland Sexual Abuse HELP, first as a psychotherapist and then in the role of Crisis Team Manager.

Meeting Wiremu, who became Toni’s partner for the last 25 years, was significant and powerful in Toni’s life. Together they had beautiful triplets—I Rangi Atea, Te Maunga Roa, and Karearea. Ten years later their fourth daughter, Toi, arrived to bless their lives. Their dedicated love and care for their girls was palpable and tender. Toni blossomed over the years as the mama of these darling and vibrant kōtiro. I still remember Toni and Wiremu presenting a paper at one NZAP [APANZ] conference, taking turns holding baby Toi in their arms, as they challenged the membership to face into and to realise the impact of colonisation and ongoing racism on Māori. It was a true and heartfelt wero.

Alongside her role as mother, Toni worked at Starship children’s hospital, first in the role of therapist and then, in the last few years, she immersed herself in her bigger and broader role as Māori Health Director at Starship. Here she led a skilled team of Māori practitioners as they created innovative ways of raising the health care standards being offered to Māori in Tāmaki Makaurau, with the intention of transforming patient experiences for tamariki, mokopuna, and their whānau.

While Toni was in ICU, in the days leading up to her passing, I met many of her team members and co-workers. They spoke so highly of Toni, with great appreciation and aroha for the deep listening they experienced when with her. They shared stories of the small and big ways they each felt seen, honoured, valued, and supported by her. While Toni was often a private person, she also shared herself both personally and professionally to the fullest. She had a quick, bright, cheeky wit and wairua. She was continuously extending herself to gain knowledge in te reo, and in alternative healing practices such as rongoā Māori.

In the last text I received from Toni, only days before the aneurysm struck, she was wishing me well as I was about to travel overseas. She texted, ‘Travel safe, with an open heart’.